Curtain opens onto a modern flat: white walls, plenty of lights and open spaces. There are a bathroom and a bedroom to the right side of a central corridor with a nearly-empty coat rack directly behind the front door. To the other side there are a kitchen and a living room. The living room, farthest away from the bathroom, is clean but messy: numerous books and bundles of paper are strewn about. The rest of the flat is both clean and tidy.
Jill is leaning against the bathroom sink, wearing a stylish black evening dress. A light green towel is wrapped around her head. She is clipping and filing her fingernails. Then the sound of keys in the front door lock. Jack enters the flat, wearing a black ska hat and a suit underneath a black trenchcoat. He steps inside, then slams the door shut loudly on purpose. Jill looks up and turns her head towards the sound.
JACK
Loudly
Jill? I’m home!
JILL
I’m in the bathroom, Jack.
Jack takes off his hat and his coat and hangs them on the coat rack. He carefully unties his shoes, places the laces inside, and arranges them neatly right under his coat. Jill enters the hallway and greets him with a hug.
JILL
How did it go, honey? I want to hear all about it.
JACK
Oh, just swell. Is that make-up you’re wearing? You know I prefer to look at you without that stuff on your face. And what’s that dress for? Business supper again?
JILL
Sort of. How do you like it?
Turns around a couple of times. Her tone and attitude are coy and playful
Will this make me look out of place in a posh and expensive restaurant?
JACK
Looks at her, tilts his head, then purses his lips and nods.
Not at all; you look lovely. I would advise you to get rid of the towel, though.
JILL
Oh hur hur. So tell me: have you got some lovely news to tell me?
JACK
Oh, it was absolutely wonderful. You know those days when everything that happens makes the world seem like such a wondrous place? I had one of those today. It already began when I rounded the corner down the street, you know? The one with the Moroccan shop?
JILL
Yes, I do. I live here too, you know.
JACK
He takes off his jacket. During the story he tells, he talks enthusiastically while absentmindedly picking hairs and specks of dust off the shoulders and back
I’m merely setting the scene, Jill. Right. Just around the corner, I spotted a boy riding a bike. He was about five, six years old, and he was obviously learning how to ride, because his bike was fitted with training wheels. There was a man walking along with him, just a bit behind. He was too old to be the boy’s father, so I suppose he was the grandfather.
JILL
Was that the Peters’ kid? Reddish hair, big nose?
JACK
How would I know? No, this one had brown hair. Besides, I’m not really all that interested in the people who live in this neighbourhood. I don’t think I know more than three, actually. It’s funny, really, you practically spend your life —
JILL
Not playful any more
You’re getting sidetracked. What about the boy?
JACK
Right. The boy. So he was happily riding his bike, and his grandfather was following him at a brisk pace. “Wait a second, Tommy”, he cried, “Don’t ride so fast!” But Tommy-boy didn’t listen and he just rode on. He wasn’t even going any faster, he just kept going.
JILL
Slowly, not knowing where this is going
Ok…
JACK
His grin grows broader as he gets closer to the point of his story. When he’s hung up the coat, his hand movements illustrate his enthusiasm
So then his grandfather was getting behind further and further, so he started jogging, but he had to give up after a few dozen metres. So then he was walking at this brisk pace, hurrying along but not wanting to run, or not being able to run, more likely. You could tell he wasn’t used to walking at this pace at all. By that time little Tommy was way ahead of him. The old man tried calling out to Tommy to make him wait, but the boy just ignored him, or perhaps he didn’t hear, because the old man’s voice didn’t carry all that far. In the end Tommy had disappeared around the bend, and his grandfather was bravely plodding on, cursing under his breath. And the funny thing was that he was desperately trying to maintain his dignity: no real shouting or yelling, no swearing, no running. I like to think that perhaps he didn’t catch up with the boy at all and his daughter — or his son, perhaps — would be cross with him for letting his grandchild ride home all by himself. Isn’t that cool?
JILL
During Jack’s story she’s stepped away from him. She now leans with one shoulder against the wall arms crossed
Well…
JACK
apologetically
I thought it was the funniest thing I’d seen all week.
By
this time, Julia, their cat, has heard the sound of Jack’s voice and trips to the hallway. Jack, pets it a couple of times, then turns and walks into the kitchen, partially to cover up his disappointment that Jill does not share his enthusiasm. She follows and sits down in a chair: her attitude and tone of voice during the next conversation should make it clear that she’s used to Jack’s roundabout way of approaching things. She grows more impatient as Jack’s story strays more and more from the point
JILL
And this is what made your day? This is what made the world seem to you like “a wondrous place”?
JACK
He pets the cat on his way to the fridge and takes out a bottle of orange juice. During his next story, he alternates between preparing his own drink (taking a glass from the cupboard, pouring his own drink and putting everything away), petting the cat that’s clamoring for attention and food, and carving up a tin of cat food (also from the fridge) in a plastic tray (Chinese take-away style) with a fork
But it is, Jill. And this was only part of it. Don’t get me wrong: I think that in and by itself it’s marvellous to have witnessed such an event. But there’s more!
JILL
sarcastic
Wait, don’t tell Me. The old man’s shoes didn’t match!
JACK
Tilting his head, briefly considering the idea
No, that was not it. The other thing that happened to me on my way to the railway station was something else altogether. Or maybe not. You see, there was this old lady was standing next to me at the traffic lights — we were waiting for them to turn green. She was the most pitiable lady I saw today — she wore a run-down coat, three pairs of mismatched socks, and she had several layers of filthy clothes with colours that didn’t really match, to put it mildly. It wasn’t all that cold today, but it was definitely too warm to wear that many layers of clothes on top of each other — two separate t-shirts and jumpers, in fact. But I suppose she didn’t have anything to carry them in. Or she’s just one of those people who decide to hang away their winter clothes each year come June 10, or something like that, instead of adapting to the variable weather conditions. Anyway, that’s not important. She was smoking a cigarette without filter, too. And right when the light turned green, she staggered over to the pole and started retching. Let me tell you: it was such a hideous sound! Like a packet of sandpaper and a rough concrete brick were being scraped across each other in her chest. Must be all the smoking, I thought. And then she spit it all out, at the base of the traffic light. Have you ever seen an old lady being sick, in broad daylight?
JILL
Sighs and rolls her eyes
And of course you stood there and watched it all happen.
JACK
Of course I did. How could I not? She spit out a surprisingly colourful amount of mucus, too. There was so much of it; she just kept on retching and spitting. By the time she’d finished, the light had turned red again, so we were forced to wait until they’d change again.
He notices Jill is not amused, then talks faster, wanting her to understand
I mean, you’d expect this sort of thing from a man, right? Not from a woman. Certainly not from one this old. Oh, she’ll have been at least eighty. Or that’s how she looked. It was hard to tell, though. She had a tan, and she was wearing sunglasses, too, but she was definitely past seventy.
His voice trails off
JILL
I’m thrilled. Are there any more fascinating anecdotes that happened to you today? Any other stories you’d like to tell me?
JACK
hesitant
Well, there was that group of scouts whose leader nearly lost his hat when the wind blew it off.
JILL
In a dry tone, getting impatient
Oh. Really.
JACK
Yep. But I don’t suppose you’ll want to hear about his comical attempts to catch it. The boy scouts helped, too.
JILL
piqued
No. I do not. Are you making these stories up?
JACK
smiling uncertainly
No. No, I’m not. This is the sort of thing that’s impossible to make up, Jill. This is life displaying its superiority to imagination! You know I’m sensitive to that…
JILL
Starts off exasperated, then lowers her voice somewhat. It’s clear they have had this conversation before
Jack! You just want me to ask you directly, don’t you? Look: I usually don’t mind you wrapping up important news in layer upon layer of your observations, but not today, please, not now. I just can’t handle these things today, alright? Just tell me already: how did it go?
JACK
It went great. I got the job.
JILL
That’s great.
she gets up
I booked a table at the Auberge cramoisie at seven. I’ll go put up my hair, you go get freshened up. I want you to be ready to leave
in ten. That suit you wore today will do nicely.
she leaves the kitchen, untying the towel on her head, and goes into the bathroom
JACK
Quickly overcoming his surprise, grinning broadly
Ok. right. Yes, that’s what I’ll do. Um, thanks, Jill! It’s nice to know you’re so confident in my abilities.
JILL
Muffled, a hairgrip in her mouth
I just know you better than you realise, Jack. And don’t stand there grinning like an idiot. You’d better be ready in time!
Jack starts toward the bathroom. Curtain closes